MOVIE REVIEW: MACGRUBER

MacGruber started out as a thirty second sketch on Saturday Night Live and is now the latest skit to get it's own live action film. The film stars Will Forte, Kristin Wiig, Ryan Phillipe and Val Kilmer, and is a spoof of the 80's series MacGyver.

The goal of the film was to spoof the 80's action film genre. They failed on every level. Putting 80's music, clothes and dialouge in the film isn't enough to try and pull off a spoof. What the film lacked was both a script and talent.

We'll start with the script. Throwing in a bunch of foul language does not make a film funny, especially if the lines don't even make sense. I'm not offended by language in films and I do think that if done right, from time to time it can make a line funnier. But when it is every sentence and it sounds like an eight year old is the one talking it gets really old, really quick. But it isn't just the dialogue that fails on every level, but the writing for the film does as well. It looked like an immature thirteen year old wrote the script.

The story also takes from different 80's film's plots. MacGruber is an ex-special operative who retires after Kilmer's character kills his bride at their wedding. He then runs off to a village where he helps build a town and mentor kids. When Kilmer's character steals a nuclear bomb with intentions of destroying Washington D.C., he is asked to return to help stop the crisis.

Finally we get to the cast. I really feel sorry for Ryan Phillipe on this one. I don't know what happened that caused him to fall into this film, but I think he has talent and it really gave him a bad name being in this film. The other big name, Val Kilmer, did a good enough job considering what he had to work with. However, Kilmer's roles have been getting worse and worse ever since Batman Forever came out. Then we have Will Forte, who has never been in a good movie and Kristin Wiig who gives the same exact performance in everything she does. These guys are on Saturday Night Live for a reason. They are funny (sometimes), but only in four minute sketches. Neither of these guys belonged getting leading roles in anything, especially Forte.

This movie is not funny, it's not entertaining and children have no business being around it. This is officially the first flop of the summer and I give it a 0 out of 5.

HEADLINES

FOUR UP FOR SCREAM 4
Ashley Green, Hayden Panettiere, Rory Culkin and Lake Bell are all in talks to star in Scream 4. Green would play Sidney's cousin Jill, Panettiere would play Jill's best friend and movie guru, Culkin would play Jill's love interest and Bell would play an officer that Sidney knew in high school.

I like everyone listed above. It is really assuring to me that the next three films won't be primarily on Sidney, Dewey and Gail. The film starts shooting this summer so there will be several casting updates coming out soon.

On a side note, I know he looks rediculous, but I really like Rory Culkin.






FRANCO GOES APE
James Franco has signed on to star in the prequel Rise of the Apes. He will playing a scientist who has a big hand in what causes the war between the humans and apes.

I like Franco, but I don't really see him as the scientist type. I'm not excited for this film at the moment, but if they keep nabbing good actors, I might change my mind.


MACGYVER WRITER HIRED
Jason Richman has been hired to develop a script for the upcoming MacGyver film. Richmans other films include; Black Hawk Down, Rush Hour 3 and Bad Company.

I really don't think this movie needs to happen unless Richard Dean Anderson is playing MacGyver. He isn't too old. The last thing I want to see is some stupid young actor like Taylor Lautner getting the role of one of my favorite action stars as a kid. Furthermore, besides Black Hawk Down, Richman hasn't done anything I like, so there is another reason.

MacGyver's hair was truly horrible back then.






OLDMAN JOINS KUNG FU PANDA 2
Gary Oldman will be voicing a character named Peacock for Kung Fu Panda: The Kaboom of Doom.

In the sequel, a new villain emerges and threatens the existence of the ancient kung fu ways.






POSSIBLE VILLAIN FOR THE AVENGERS
It is being leaked that the Skrulls are looking to be the villains for the upcoming Avengers film. I am not familiar with them, so here is a description of them:

"The Skrulls are an extraterrestrial humanoid race who have created a vast interstellar empire, the oldest known empire still in existence, within the Andromeda Galaxy.. A Skrull can mentally cause the unstable molecules that comprise his or her body to become pliant, enabling him or her to assume other forms through muscular expansion and contraction. Once a new shape has been assumed (human, animal, alien), it takes a conscious act of will to assume another form or revert to natural.. Although the Skrulls became aware of Earth (due to its nearness to a natural warp-space access point) eons ago, it was not until recent times that they considered Earth’s threat. Their first regular surveillances of Earth began in the 1930s. To date most of the Skrulls’ excursions to Earth have been extremely small-scale, with no more than a handful of soldier-infiltrators being dispatched at any given time. It is not yet known how the death of the current ruling family will affect official policy toward Earth or the government of the empire in general."

Apparently, the plan is to have them take over The Hulks mind which will cause The Avengers to join up for the first time to try and stop him.

I think that this could work. If they aren't the main focus in this film and just start off by trying to get the Hulk to do their dirty work, I think that would be the best way to go. Although, I'm certainly up for some other villains.

MOVIE REVIEW: IRON MAN 2

The summer season is officially here, and to kick it off we start with the follow up to the 2008 surprise smash hit Iron Man. In the follow up, Tony Stark faces many new challenges as he has now revealed to the public that he is Iron Man. First is the government. They feel as if the Iron Man suit is a threat to the public and wants to take it from him and use it for their own purposes. Secondly, Justin Hammer, an engineering rival to Stark is trying to create a copy of the Iron Man suit so he can create an army for the U.S. military. And finally, Ivan Vanko, a man whose father worked with Stark's is bent on revenge for supposedly stealing the fame and ideas of his fathers.

Iron Man 2 delivers the same high energy pace that the original did such a great job doing. So many films these days have a good plot or have a nice cast, but ends up falling on it's face due to lack of script. It is so nice to be able to go and sit through a film that has had a lot of effort put into the writing of the film. Justin Theroux delivered a phenomenal script with this film and really made it a clever, charming film to watch. Jon Favreau did a great job taking that script and turning it into something real. What makes these films successful, is the knowledge the people working on them have of the material. These guys knew the comics, knew the characters and knew exactly how to adapt them to the big screen.



The cast in this film is truly a wonderful ensemble. Robert Downey Jr. gives an even better performance in this film than he did in the original. When you are watching the film, you can really tell that he cares about the character he is playing. I am not sure if there has ever been a better casting job than the one to make Downey Jr. Iron Man. When you watch him in interviews it as if him and Tony Stark are one in the same. Then you have Gwyneth Paltrow who is a fantastic companion to Downey Jr.. Their chemistry in this film is fantastic. The quick dialogue between the two kept the audience laughing throughout the entire film. Don Cheadle came on board to replace Terrance Howard after Howard and the studio couldn't work out a deal regarding his pay. I enjoyed Cheadle a lot more as James Rhodes than I did Howard's portrayal. He seemed a lot less of a whiny character and more of someone who wants to stand up and take charge. He was a good edition to the series and really took charge of his character. Then we have Sam Rockwell who might be one of the most underrated actors in hollywood right now. In the film, Rockwell plays Justin Hammer. Hammer is a younger rival to Stark. He took the part and really made it his own. He starts off as trying to be a tough guy, but after being put in his place he tries to adapt into a more Stark like personality and in the end shows his true colors. Rockwell did a great job of changing personas throughout the film.








As for the action in the film, it was done very well. I think what kills big summer movies a lot of times are the over the top action they try and shove at you. They made it to where it was fun and exciting, but at the same time, they kept it believable.








The film however, is not without it's flaws. I think they completely missed on Mickey Rourke's character. They gave him absolutely nothing to in the film. This was a really waste of character, especially since the almost didn't land him do to financial negotiations. What little of the movie he is actually in, he is given horrible lines and no real purpose. At the end of the film, I felt as if he never really was a threat to Iron Man at all. So not only do they give him nothing to do throughout the entire film, but once the final showdown occurs between him and Iron Man, it is over and done with after three short minutes. It was if the film built up and built up, and then sizzled out at the very end.

Overall, Iron Man 2 was a great way to kick off the summer season. It had everything you needed to have a fun, successful film and I walked away completely satisfied and wanting more. I give it a four out of five.

HEADLINES

SECRET J.J. ABRHAMS TRAILER
Two days ago, it was reported that much like how the Cloverfield trailer popped up out of nowhere in front of Transformers, a new secret trailer would be appearing in front of Iron Man 2 tonight. The synopsis for the trailer has now been released so if you want to be surprised stop reading now.

The trailer lasts about one minute and a half.

It begins with the Green MPAA screen, followed by the Paramount Pictures logo. No Bad Robot at the header.

A train rushes by the screen. We notice that it has lots of cargo. Text comes on the screen: “In 1979, The U.S. Air Force Closed A Section of AREA 51.”

We see the railroad crossing light blinking and ringing as the camera pans up we see some sort of light moving in the background. What is it? A UFO?

More Text: “All The Materials Were To Be Transported To A Secure Facility In Ohio.” No, it appears to be the headlights of a yellow 1970’s truck, which skids in a 180 degree motion, and suddenly pulls onto the tracks.

Point of view of the truck heading into the light. Black screen and white text: “From Producer Steve Spielberg”

We see the truck explode as it hits the train. Then… the cargo train is heading towards the car explosion - BAM. It is wrecked, thrown from the tracks like a wild snake.

The flaming metal body flipping towards the camera. Cars flying through the air. It is INTENSE.

Another black screen and the text: “And Director JJ Abrams”

The camera really slowly moves in on the wrecked pieces of the train, most of which is now just scrap metal. At least one car remains intact.

Black screen, white test: “Next Summer” We see some sparks. Black screen, white text: “It Arrives” We pull up on one of the train cars with a US Airforce logo.

The wheel on the door begins to spin out of control as we pull in closer. The wall of the door begins to bend like some huge force is punching it from the inside. Cut to one second of a close up of an 8mm camera lens.

Cut to black. White text: “Super 8″ The credits at the end were pretty bare.

This sounds like it is going to be awesome. This is how more movies should market themselves. Keep it under wraps to where no one knows anything about it, and then boom, out of nowhere release an awesome trailer that will get fanboys peeing there pants. This film just went straight to the top of my anticipation list for next summer.



ICE AGE: CONTINENTAL DRIFT COMING
Fox has decided to go ahead with a fourth film of the Ice Age franchise. By the sound of it, I would assume this film will be centered around the breaking up of the continents.

I loved the first film, but they have gone downhill with the past two. After this film, they should make Ice Age: Here Comes A Big Comet.



ZOOLANDER 2 NEWS
Paramount can't decide whether they want to go ahead with Anchorman 2 and Zoolander 2 or not. As of right now, Anchorman 2 is officially dead and it seemed that Zoolander 2 was right behind it. But yesterday, Justin Theroux, Zoolander 2's writer, said that no one had told him to stop writing yet. Hopefully that is good news for the sequel.

I liked Anchorman and Zoolander, but if I had to pick one to do a sequel on, it would be Zoolander. Anchorman would be more difficult. It doesn't really have a need for a sequel. However, Zoolander was kind of formed into a non official super hero. He had a villain, the villain came from a secret society of villains and they set up a whole back story to it. And I liked the characters more from Zoolander than I did Anchorman. Here is hoping at least one of them make it.



KICK-ASS 2 IS A GO......MAYBE
Despite having disappointing numbers at the box office, it appears that Kick-Ass will get a sequel titled, Kick-Ass: Balls to the Wall. Mark Millar wrote the original novel, but has not finished the sequel yet, so I would guess the film wouldn't start until he has completed his follow-up. However, Red Mist himself, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, said on his Twitter to not believe it and that it has not been confirmed yet.

I really hope this gets greenlit. I think there is a lot of potential with the first film, to turn this into a big name franchise. It is always difficult to have a film of this sort succeed, because a large group of the target audience is under age and wouldn't be able to get in. At the same time though, if you drop the rating to a PG-13 one, then you really take away from what makes the film great.




JOAQUIN PHONEIX NOT CRAZY
Many assumed that Phoneix's David Letterman incident, retirement announcement and rapping career stint was all a hoax. Now it has been confirmed. All of that was for a mocumentary that he and Casey Affleck have been working on the past year. Apparently, they showed the film to some potential film buyers last week, so we may or may not see the finshed product very soon.

I'm not sure if this will hurt his career or not. I was pretty bummed at first to see him go out like he did, but then again, this was all pretty funny and I'm sure it will be on film as well.




RISE OF THE APES COMING
Twentieth Century Fox is developing a prequel to the popular Apes franchise. The apes will be done using the CGI technology from Avatar.

Does anyone really care about this franchise anymore? I mean I'm sure they were good back in the day, but the remake was less than thrilling and I really don't care about monkeys learning to walk, talk and take over the world.



MEN IN BLACK 3 IS OFFICIAL
Columbia Pictures announced today that Men In Black 3 was officially happening and even gave a release date of May 25, 2012. The third installment will be shot in 3D and as of right now everyone has signed back on except for Tommy Lee Jones who is currently in negotiations to return.

I am a big fan of the first film, but I think they completely missed with the sequel. I am growing tired very fast of all the 3D stuff going on, but I think that Men In Black would be a fun film to watch in 3D. I hope they really bring their A game with this sequel and I hope after this Smith can get to work on Bad Boys 3.




MI:4 NEWS
With the release of J.J. Abrhams secret project Super 8, now getting a release date for summer of 2011, Paramount decided to spread out the love and push Mission Impossible 4 back to a December 2011 release. Not only that, but they have finally signed a director for the film. Brad Baird will make his live action debut as the director behind the film. Bairds directing credits include The Iron Giant, The Incrdibles and Ratatouille.

I think that this is a very interesting move, but a move I like. I love all three of the animated films he has done and I love the Mission Impossible franchise. It will be interesting to see how he adapts from animation to a big budget, live action film. And we better find out what the Rabbit's Foot was.




AND THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS FRANCHISE JUST GOT WORSE
It is being reported that Dwayne Johnson is in talks to join the cast of Fast Five, the fifth film in the Fast and the Furious franchise. Specifics are not known at the time, but one could guess that he would be one of the fast five.

I like Johnson, but the guy makes horrible movie choices. The first and third films weren't half bad, but the second and fourth films were very bad. Paul Walker arguably the worst actor in America and that is a scientific fact. Vin Diesel has lost any chance of being the big time action star I once thought he would turn out to be and the title "Fast Five" just sounds horrible.

Here is the synopsis of the film: Diesel and Walker are fugitives being pursued by relentless lawmen.

Give me a break. The ending of the fourth one was so unbelivable I would have walked out if it wasn't already the end of the film. They destroyed what little story this franchise could have had.

MOVIE REVIEW: A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET

During the 80's horror movies were a booming genre. We had iconic characters such as Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhese, Leatherface and even little old Chucky. Then you had your cult horror films like The Hills Have Eyes, My Bloody Valentine, The Crazies, Last House on the Left and The Fog. You could say that the horror genre was at the height of it's career. Horror films aren't for everyone for obvious reasons, but if your like me and you are a horror fan, you know what it takes to make a good slasher flick. Back then they had everything needed to be a successful horror film; lots of death scenes, plenty of gore and late night trips to the lake, if you get my drift.

Now flashforward twenty years later and where is the horror genre at? Well, during the nineties we had the Scream trilogy, which I loved and I think was ok for its time. Then in the early 2000's we had The Ring and the fifty films after it that copied the same exact story. Now at the back end of the 2000's, all we have are remakes of the eighties films we loved and torture type films like Saw, Hostel, Turistas and Wolf Creek. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, The Hills Have Eyes and The Crazies were all well done, but Halloween, The Fog Last House On the Left, My Bloody Valentine and the now apparently turned comedy Chucky series were all disappointments....especially the Chucky films.


So now all we had left to remake was Freddy Krueger, one of the biggest horror characters of the eighties. They ditched Robert Englund who portrayed Freddy for the first eight films and brought on Jackie Earle Haley as the new Freddy. I think that was a good move. If your remaking the franchise, you want to take it back to its dark roots. As the films progressed, Freddy became more of a comedic killer than a scary, ruthless one. I thought that Haley would do justice to what Englund brought to the character for so many years. He tried his best, but unfortunately they just didn't give him much to do.

The main story is pretty much the same as the original. Fred Kruger is abusing children at a local pre school, and after the parents of the students hunt down and kill Krueger, he begins to kill the now grown up children by entering their dreams.

I'm not sure really where to begin with where all this movie goes wrong. We'll start with Freddy. People will go to this film to see Freddy, not the CW actors that make up the cast, Freddy is the star. What they do for the first hour is really just tease you with Krueger. They will show him for a quick second and then wait a while and throw him in again for a brief moment. People want to see him and I was really annoyed sitting there waiting for him to actually show up on screen for more than a minute. Secondly, was the CGI used to redesign his face. Is it really that hard these days to put make-up on someone as opposed to just using special effects. I liked that they were trying to bring something new to the table to redesign his look, but not how they just threw some special effects on there and was done with it.

The cast was horrific. I hate how all these horror remakes turn to the CW Network to find their talent now. The lines were delivered incredibly bad and you couldn't help but to laugh at the characters, because they were all dressed up as your now popular emo, goth kids with the exception of one of the characters. There was no diversity to the characters, they were all the same.

But my main problem with the film was with the story. As I said before, people go to these movies to see the killer and to watch the death scenes. In this film, there were only three death scenes besides one at the very end, which didn't count in my opinion. The Friday the 13th remake had five deaths in the first fifteen minutes. And it just wasn't the low death count, but the uncreative ways they did them. I was bored with them all. I was never on the edge of my seat, I was never gripping my armrest waiting for the big jump and I was never clenching my teeth at the "gruesome" scene I was watching.

This was a remake, but all the iconic scenes from the original were taken out of the film or ruined. The classic Johnny Depp scene, gone. One of the scenes from the original that made it into this film was done so horribly wrong, the audience actually ended up laughing during the entire scene as opposed to the horror effect that it was supposed to have.

It really looks like good horror films are a thing of the past now. Studios refuse to pay for good writers, directors or talent that is worth watching. This film is a good example of how bad the genre has become over the past 20-30 years. If you put in a little, you will get a little.

This is a key example as to why you don't let someone who's only credentials are directing music videos tackle a big name project like this. I enjoyed absolutely nothing about this film and give it a 1 out of 5.