MOVIE REVIEW: PIRANHA 3D

I'm not a huge fan of 3D, but it seems that Hollywood is all about it these days. It works for some films, but I don't want to see every single movie that comes out in 3D. However, when it comes to the horror genre, I think 3D is a must have. When My Bloody Valentine came out a few years ago, it convinced me that 3D is best used as a horror film technology to really bring a new level of scare and gore to a genre that has been getting worse and worse throughout the years.

Alexandre Aja, who has had some pretty decent horror films with The Hills Have Eyes and High Tension directs the film and does a great job of bringing a fun, entertaining movie to the screen. He also did a great job of getting a pretty respectable cast for a movie like this. Oscar winner Richard Dreyfuss, Oscar nominee Elisabeth Shue, three time Emmy winner Christopher Lloyd, Jerry O'Connell, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott and Ricardo Chavira all star. For a film of this genre and style to be able to snag actors like this is a real accomplishment. Many times, movies like this turn out to be bad and fail, because no real talent can be pulled in.

In the film, thousands of young people gather at Lake Victoria for spring break and during the celebration an earthquake opens up an ancient cavern that unleashes hundreds of prehistoric piranhas loose on the lake. A small group of people must work together to not only save the tourists, but keep themselves from getting eaten as well.

What makes Piranha 3D so great, is that the film doesn't take itself too seriously. This is supposed to be a fun, goofy movie with some jumps and lots of gore. And that is exactly what it delivers. What is even better, is that the cast doesn't take their roles to seriously either. There is no shouting to the heavens or scene of intense seriousness, it's as if everyone is in on it. Jerry O'Connell and Adam Scott in particular do a really great job of portraying their characters in a way as if they are telling the audience, "We know it's a fun, goofy movie, and we love it". Even the CGI piranhas have a goofy, almost on purpose look to them.

The entire cast was great. As a Back to the Future fan, I loved seeing Christopher Lloyd back on the screen playing this crazy old scientist. Another Back to the Future alumni, Elisabeth Shue, hasn't really done a lot on screen lately and it was good to see her back. In the film, she plays the sheriff and does a great job of playing the tough female lead.

Right from the start the movie gets me. As a fan of Jaws, I was excited to see that they brought Richard Dreyfuss's character, Matt Hooper from Jaws into the opening scene. For legal reasons, they changed his name to Matt Boyd, but he is wearing the exact same outfit, drinking the exact same beer and singing the exact same song from Jaws. I thought this was a great nod to Jaws and the genre and I thought it was a really fun idea bringing the character into yet another terrifying situation. The audience really loved that scene.

The film itself, is morally wrong on every level. I have never seen more gore and nudity than I have with this film, but it's paying a homage to the 70's and 80's horror films. During the 90's and 00's, horror films got really soft. There were a lot of PG-13 films and watered down R films and what Aja was trying to do, was bring back the old school type of horror. So if you not a fan of intense gore and nudity, stay far, far away, but if it doesn't bother you to much, I would say this is something you need to check out. And of course if your a horror fan and it doesn't bother you at all, this is a must see for you.

I really didn't have any problems with the film other than it was to short. The film runs at 82 minutes, and I really would have like to seen about thirty more minutes. The audience as well as myself had a great time watching it. There was laughing, screaming and cringing, but when the film ends the whole audience went "awwww", wanting more. Piranha 3D was not the best film of the summer by any means, but it was certainly the most entertaining. I wasn't expecting much from it, but I am giving it an eight out of ten.

HEADLINES

With the summer season coming to an end it looks like the movie news is starting to role in. It was a pretty quite summer as far as movie news goes, so I'm glad some stuff is popping up.









ROGEN TO VOICE BOO U
People must love Rogen's voice because he is always popping up in animated features. This time he will be voicing a ghost for Dreamworks upcoming animated film, Boo U. He plays a ghost who is sent back to school to improve his haunting skills.

Dreamworks is hit and miss with me. To me it seems like I like every other film they do. I like How to Train Your Dragon, so I will probably not like Megamind. So if this is the next in line, it's looking pretty good so far.









ELBA FINALLY GETS THE LEAD
Idris Elba will be taking over the role of Dr. Alex Cross, last portrayed by Morgan Freeman, for James Paterson's novel adaptation Cross. Paterson's previous two adaptations were Along Came A Spider and Kiss the Girls.

This is good news for Elba and us. I think he has tremendous talent, but hasn't found the big role yet in film. He will be perfect for Dr. Cross and I'm actually excited to see another film from these novels.

SAW DIRECTOR DOES 11 11 11
Apparently there is an organization that believes the recurrence of the number 11:11 has a spiritual significance and has a link to spiritual guardians. So naturally on November 11, 2011 this film will be released involving the 11 gates to heaven and how on 11/11/11 the final gate open for a short period of time.

This doesn't sound like anything special right now. Maybe after a few more details, this could turn into something interesting.











ODD DUO PAIR UP
Wesley Snipes is no familiar face to the crime/action genre, but Joey Lawrence, king of ABC's TGIF and now ABC Family, is. The two will be teaming up for a film titled Havana Heat. The story follows a murder of an undercover Homeland Security agent and his connection to Guantanamo Bay. What's even better is that Blonde and Blonder director Dean Hamiltyon is attached to direct.

Now this doesn't say it's going direct-to-dvd, but I can't imagine this making it's way to theatres. I mean Joey Lawrence and the guy that directed Blonde and Blonder??? You know who saw Blonde and Blonder, about eight people that's who. This has disaster written all over it.











JUMPER 2.......PLEASE NO
Hayden Christensen said at the premiere for Takers (which looks terrible), that Jumper 2 is a possibility and there is some talk and ideas going around for it right now.

I don't care how big of a Star Wars fan you are, you can't tell me that Christensen wasn't absolutely terrible in them and that he was one of the reasons they were so bad. The guy's acting is a joke. Now I thought that Jumper had a lot of potential, but a lot of things went wrong and the outcome wasn't good. I really hope they decide to go with a different character and give him the boot.









ABRAMS DEVELOPING THRILLER
Anyone ever play seven minutes in heaven? I never did. But imagine going into a closet to make out with a girl for seven minutes and when you come out, all your friends are dead. That the project Abrams is lining up with Lost director, Jack Bender.

I have nothing but faith in anything Abrams does, but I'm not sure how two kids going in a closet to make out and coming out with their friends dead is going to pan out on screen. I can't imagine an audience wanting to watch a thriller about two kids and I can't buy it being two teenagers. But it's Abrams so I put all my faith in him.

SUMMER 10' BEST AND WORST

Man, am I glad that this summer is over with. This summer has not felt like your typical blockbuster summer at the movies. But there were some gems in a huge pile of what I thought to be a summer filled with crap films. We will start with the worst of the summer.

TOP 5 WORST FILMS OF THE SUMMER









5. Splice

I was really hoping this film would be good, and while I think it had potential, in the end it was all gore and bore. Dren, the monster, wasn't a very good character in my opinion. The film was supposed to make you feel bad for her and be emotionally attache, but I never really cared about her. All that along with a silly ending ended up being a short lived box office stay with Splice.










4. Knight and Day

By far the worst Tom Cruise movie I have ever seen. Stupid story that barely had a plot, completely unbelievable action sequences, horrible dialogue along with a horrible performance by everyone involved. Another swing and a miss by Fox. They are getting good at those.











3. MacGrubber
Sorry Noe, but this film just didn't land with me. To me the comedy was almost like the spoof movies that have been rolling out the past couple years. Besides Val Kilmer, nothing about this film was funny. Once again, terrible dialogue, a sex scene with a ghost, and a bunch of missed jokes was enough for me to want to walk out.











2. Jonah Hex

I could go on all day about how DC Comics doesn't have anyone intelligent running their film department. Warner Bros. are just as guilty as well. Do they try out a Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman or even a Cyborg movie.....nope, they do Jonah Hex. Then they go after Megan Fox, who whether you find her attractive or not, is a terrible actor with a terrible personality to match. The film wasn't even a hour and a half long, so how could could you take it as a serious film?

and the winner for worst film of summer 2010 is............

































1. Killers

I love every chance I get to bash Katherine Heigl, and nothing gives me more pleasure than giving her movie the worst of the summer award. First off it's a ripoff of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Ashton Kutcher is about as believable as an action star as Clint Eastwood is as a comedian. The movie was horrible, filled with forced comedy, terrible "action" scenes and horrible dialogue. "Let's just say I work for the blank and they gave me a license to blank". Genius writing right there. Just look at the poster for this film with Heigl's stupid smile on her face. I could have told you this would have been the worst by the poster alone. Congrats Killers, you earned it.

As I said, there were some gems this summer. I will admit that two out of these five films, I wasn't even that crazy about but since there was slim picking I went with what was fun.

TOP 5 BEST FILMS OF THE SUMMER










5. Predators

Was this film great, no. But it was a huge step in the right direction as to where this franchise needs to go. The performances were great and believable and it had some pretty good action scenes for a film with a small budget. I am now convinced Adrien Brody can play an action star and I hope to see this franchise continue with him for at least one more film.









4. The A-Team

I never thought at the beginning of the summer I would put The A-Team as my number 4 film of the summer. But, it was a ton of fun. Now let me clear something up so it doesn't sound like I am contradicting myself. Knight and Day and The A-Team both had unbelievable action sequences, I realize this. But The A-Team was not trying to be serious about it. Their motto was how they specialize in the ridiculous and how they have these crazy plans so that it would be more believable. The film didn't take itself to seriously and I liked that.










3. Toy Story 3

Pixar is year in and year out top summer films. The same is with Toy Story 3. The story was a little repetitive of the past two films, but it was great regardless. Michael Keaton was a great addition to this cast. I am a little disappointed that the next three Pixar films will be sequels. I don't care much about Cars 2 and I have been wanting to see Monsters Inc. 2 for a while, but what Pixar specializes in is the original ideas.









2. Iron Man 2

Robert Downey Jr. somehow topped his performance from the first film. Jon Favreau matched the level of action and the end result was great. Sequels often don't live up to the original, but this was right on par with the first. The only disappointment was the under use of Mickey Rourke.

And the number one summer film of 2010 is..............
































1. Inception

I don't think this film is over hyped at all. The fact that original ideas can still come from Hollywood blows my mind. All Hollywood wants to do right now is remake movies or make a thousand sequels until the franchise is ran into the ground. Inception is by far the most original movie and as Robert Downey Jr. the most ambitious movie I have seen in the past few years. Great performances all around and an amazing story. If we could get at least five movies a year of this quality I would be happy. Well done Mr. Nolan.

So now that this crap crap summer is over, we can look forward to the next two, which are filled with big named movies.

MOVIE REVIEW: THE EXPENDABLES

The Expendables really needs no introduction. It's easily the most big named movie we have seen in a while with classic action stars such as; Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Terry Crewes, Steve Austin, Randy Couture and cameos by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis. But star studded casts doesn't always equal a great film.

In the film, Stallone plays plays Barney Ross, the leader of a mercenary group who goes in to do the governments dirty work. After being sent to a small village in South America to overthrow an evil dictator, Ross is afraid that he and his team are over their head being outnumbered in every way. He decides to call off the mission and head home, but once he returns, he has a change of heart and decides that the people their are worth fighting for and returns to finish the job.

Stallone is an underrated director. He directed four of the six Rocky films and directed the last Rambo film. I was really surprised by Rocky Balboa and Rambo not only because at sixty four, Stallone is still in top shape, but because the films were actually really good to be about characters that are so old. After his last two films, I was really excited to see what he could do with a cast like this.

Obviously the main thing that is going to attract people to this film is the cast. And for the most part, they are all great. Stallone is his classic, tough guy, leader of the pack self, that we are use to watching. He does a great job of playing the responsible leader.

Jason Statham, who has never made a movie I liked, really took me by surprise with how well he did in a more serious role playing the best friend and second in command.

But my favorite had to be Mickey Rourke. His part wasn't very big, but he delivered a great performance in my opinion. He had the performance in this that I was hoping he was going to have in Iron Man 2.

The rest of the cast was just kind of in and out. Terry Crews, Steve Austin, Jet Li and Randy Couture all had small parts who pretty much just came in for the big action scene, but nothing really special out of any of them. The same goes for Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis. Their scene was about five minutes long, but easily delivered the best line of the film.

Dolph Lundgren was easily the worst part about the film. His lines were terrible and his performance matched. He may have had some of the biggest fight scenes, but to me you got to be able to pull it off, and he just didn't do it for me.

As for the story, it was a very forgettable one. Evil dictator, couple of guys against a small army, nothing really special here. The film starts off with a bang, it gets everyone excited, and then it drags out for about thirty minutes with a stupid side story revolving Statham and his girlfriend that could have been completely cut from the film and then basically a boring tour of South Africa. I think many people are going to go into this film with the expectation of a two hour, non stop action film, and that simply isn't the case. The action scenes that were in the film however, were great ones. I think when action films are talked about these days, things like Transformers or super hero films are what comes to mind. These are nowhere near the caliber of action that came in the eighties and early nineties. Hopefully, this film will inspire the real action genre to come back to the big screen with a new generation of stars. I think there is a lot of potential here and I hope this performs well enough to get a sequel that will hopefully draw in more classic stars and hopefully deliver a better story.

The performances and action scenes were great, but the story lacked and drug. I give The Expendables a six out of ten.

MOVIE REVIEW: THE OTHER GUYS

Director Adam McKay and Will Ferrell have had a lot of success together with Anchorman, Talladega Nights and Step Brothers, plus their website Funny or Die. They have teamed up once again to bring us the buddy cop film, The Other guys, this time bringing Mark Wahlberg along for the ride. The film has a big supporting cast, Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne Johnson, Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton and Steve Coogan all co-star. Allen Gamble, an easy going, laid back desk cop who doesn't like to get out and pursue criminals. Terry Hoitz (Wahlberg) is a cop desperately seeking action after an unfortunate run in with Derek Jeter made him the laughing stock of the police force. Once paired up, they decide to try and out do the two top cops they idolize, but end up getting into more than they can handle.

The beginning of the film stated off on a bad note for me. The very beginning starts out with a big action scene. Buddy cop films are hard to pull off because they have to have both action that is believable and comedy that lands it's jokes. With Adam McKay having no experience with anything remotely similar to action, it really hurt the action oriented parts like the start of the film. It wasn't executed very well and came off looking very unbelievable. However, once the film got rolling, the laughs started rolling along with it.

McKay and Ferrell films are notorious for their classic quotes and hilarious one liners. The film doesn't have as many as usual, but still has some great lines. Michael Keaton in particular has a very funny running joke in the film.

The co-stars in this film were all great. Like I said, Michael Keaton had a very funny running joke. It is good to see him back on the screen. Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson were both great in the very short role they played as the tough guy cops. I wish they would have extended their parts a little more. And Eva Mendes, who I am not normally fond of was actually pretty funny.

Will Ferrell needed this film to be a hit very badly. He has been losing a step lately with his same routine of comedy that has been worn out over the past few years. He hasn't really changed his act much. There is still the uncontrolled shouting and the funny, random one liners, but it works enough to get away with it. After his Land of the Lost disaster, I didn't know if he would be able to bounce back.

If your a fan of the McKay/Ferrell collaborations, you will love this one as well. The film is funny and it works, but I would consider it the weakest out of the four of their films. The poorly done action scenes and rough start hurt it a little, but it did a good job of digging itself out. I give it five out of ten.

MOVIE REVIEW: DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS

Director Jay Roach has a lot of big time comedies under his belt; he directed all three Austin Power films, the first two Meet the Parents and he produced both Borat and Bruno. Clearly he has had success with his comedies. So when I saw the trailer for Dinner for Schmucks, I thought there had to be more to it then just Paul Rudd taking Steve Carrell to dinner to make fun of him so he can get a promotion. Sadly, that was all there was to it.

In the film, Paul Rudd plays Tim, a guy eagerly trying to work his way up the corporate ladder. After a business pitch that gets him noticed by his superiors, they inform him that they like him, but want him to join them for a dinner before they make any final decisions. The only catch is, that he has to bring an idiot to dinner with him and whoever brings the biggest idiot wins. His girlfriend is against the dinner but after running into Barry who is a complete moron, he has to decide if his promotion is more important than his conscious.

To me, there just wasn't enough material to really make a movie out of. It was almost as if someone had the start of a good idea, but never really knew where to take the story, so they just stretched it out with a bunch of slapstick comedy and uncomfortable situations.

The characters in the film were completely unbelievable, three in particular. Yes, Carrell is playing the role of a moron, but no one is that stupid. He plays the exact same part as he does in The Office, a routine that is getting really old, really quick on that show. The second character is played Lucy Punch and is a crazy, obsessed ex of Paul Rudd. She was hands down the worst character of the film. Then the third character is an artist who Rudd's girlfriend curates for. Jemaine Clement nails the part, and I think he will turn out to be a big star, but the role is just to stupid for me in this film. You can next see him as the villain in the next Men In Black film. Zach Galifinakis from The Hangover has a cameo, but not even his character was a memorable one.

It had a few good laughs here and there. The dinner itself was pretty funny but only lasts a few minutes, and Carrell had some funny lines, but his character drug him down to much.

If slapstick is your thing, you will love the film. I'm not crazy about that style of comedy, but many in the audience was loving the film, it just wasn't for me. The lack of story and horribly written characters blew it for me. I give it a two out of ten.